Penfolds Playhouse

One of the perks of being a blogger is that you receive a lot of mail from anonymous sources. Most is generally encouraging in the 'Rock on Tommy!' kind of way, some is just fucking retarded, involves rampant speculation as to who I am by old men with AOL accounts who have nothing better to do than make empty threats, and the rest is just bizarre and twisted. A while ago, when I started this I said I would take guest contributions and true to my word, this is one of them and it certainly falls into the latter category of being bizarre and certainly twisted. I have no idea who the fuck Penfold is, but it is pretty hilarious. I do not endorse his writing and I don't support him. I'm just publishing this on his behalf as I believe in the right to free speech and because it is a tip of the hat to Andy at MCJ who did a similar thing for me and got me started in this wonderful pastime. If you have a problem with this guy, email him direct.

Penfolds Playhouse
Step inside for a cunt of a ride

Hello fuckbags and welcome to Penfolds playhouse! I am your host, Penfold and would like you to sit the fuck down shut up and read my new column courtesy of Mr Tommy Gunn.
I’m going to say what the fuck I like and there isn’t fuck all you can do about it, and be warned if you get on my shit list your in for a rough ride. Wanna know if your on it? Then read on…


I suppose I should give you a brief introduction of who I am, well… I’m someone who fucking hates everyone, aint no-one safe on here not even that fuckhead Tommy Gunn, If he steps out of line he will find himself in Penfolds Playhouse been arse raped by my Kamikaze gerbils. Lets move the fuck on…

I shall discuss these issues In no particular order:

Mozerian - The Canberrian slutbag.

This jumped up little cunt needs stabbing, HARD! I’ve never met him personally but so fucking what? His annoying posts on the spunk café fuck me right off! when i see his photo in his avatar i have visions of stomping on his throat and hearing him struggle for breath whilst blood pours from his ears.. mmm yummy mummy

ARRRRRGGGGHH CUNT! He needs to fucking die, end of.

Thenightbringer89 - The retarded kid

Why is this kid not doing his fucking school work? I’m going to assume he was born in 1989 making him 15 and he’s asking for all sorts of fucking handouts recently, he wants to know this he wants to know that, FUCK OFF SON what you need to know is when your maths teacher is next going to grope your pre-pubescent cock. It also makes me cringe how his posts are written to try and make you feel that he’s independently thought up an effect and would like to know if someone could point him in the relevant direction for methodology. You’ve watched Derren Brown the night before! don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes you ACNE RIDDEN SLAG Go get bullied you fucking outcast, mentalism is NOT going to make you accepted amongst those cold school corridors.

Another thing, have you just had your first lesson in Photoshop? Either that or your biting another schoolboy bum chum, Jordan Waller with your little avatars, Do you play Touch willies?

Dave Scribner - The ventriloquist

Why ventriloquist you say? Have you seen his fucking avatars recently? He always got his hand up a babies arse for fucks sake. Well Dave Scribner if your reading this FUCK YOU! Ill see you one day and crack your fucking skull open, faggot! End of fucking story.




Steve Brooks - Anal Cowboy

Yeee haaaawwww yes siree my names Steve and I likes Hamburgers and donkey meat! No shit just look at the fat cunt, I bet he could shit some bricks.

Its time for a little story everyone, come sit round the fire and bring your milk…

Once upon a time there was this big ol Cowboy by the name of “Yesiree Stevie” and he loved to eat and fuck. One day ol stevie decided to impress the other cowboys and show some Mageek, everyone thought he was great and yelled “Yeehaaaw stevie the great, you should make a website”

And look what’s happened as a fucking result.

It should be called “The MagicNazi” vhere ve vin and you lose!!

CUNTS


News in brief

NLP - zzzzzzz

Another thing that’s fucking me off recently is the rise of fucking retards asking about NLP and its relation to mentalism, its like it takes 3 bastard weeks for the post to finally disappear and another cunt posts another, for fucks sake. Stop believing what mentalist tell lay people it’s a fucking red herring you nob sack. The amount of useful things to a mentalism within the field of NLP is minimal, (infact message to Tommy, you should post an article of relevant NLP material for mentalism.) and shut these cunts up once and for all.

HKWiles has a sex change

Yup you heard it first here fiddlers! Our veteran grandfather the Mighty H K MOTHER FUCKING WILES has had a sex change. Well kinda…

Remember Bet Lynch from coronation street?

that’s all I got to say about that…
(infact I like mr wiles he’s cool)

Serial Killer released

Yes you read this right, the mighty moors murderer Ian Broadmore has become a member of the café. And he knows absolutely fuck all, But I suppose that’s the perfect make up for a café member these days. Do us a favour Mr Broadmore (or was it Brady??? Oi Tommy, has this cunt changed his name since coming out of prison?!) anyways…. Please please please can you take “Thenightbringer89” you know him, he’s the one who brings the night, and can you take him out to a remote area of the countryside and kill the little scrotum preferably by boring the cunt to death by asking him stupid fucking questions like the ones you ask on the café!!!


Darkseance fucks some bint

Well well well just who the fuck does this one think he is? Does a little effect, then a sprinkle of charm and WHAM he fucks a model! Yeah ok son keep dreaming either you’re a fucking liar or she was a old boot from Halifax who’s been serving diluted piss at the local pub for the past 65 years.


Time is nearly up my friends…

Well its nearly time for me to sign off this week peoples, Mostly due to the fact I need to go upstairs and take a shit, (look at those presuppositions there shrink, you could have a fucking field day, I use a computer, I have an internet connection, I am educated to a degree and spell sometimes, I needed a shit, my computer is downstairs, my toilet is upstairs, do I need to continue?)

Have a good week and don’t stick your hands up babies arses or else you’ll be in here next week…

Kind regards (ARRRRGGGHHHH kennedyitus)

Fuck you

Penfold

The Madness of King Kennedy

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Poor Kennedy. The pressures of all that fame have finally gotten to him. The lure of the dark side has become too much and he's succumbing. Much to learn, this boy has.

In the final installment of this Kennedy trilogy I am going to examine a series of posts he made today on the Mentalist's Asylum. In these posts, the angst of being the world's most famous mentalist is finally getting to Kennedy. His tortured struggle with the conflicting milieu that is his life finally creates a confrontation within himself in which he examines the choices upon which his destiny depends. (Not bad huh? I should have written movie trailers). It would appear from these posts that Kennedy has been completely misunderstood. He's not after fame. Far from it. All he wants is to be feared. I'll let Kennedy explain in his own words:

"I have had, and still am having, real issues with my persona. (No shit Sherlock. You can't seem to decide whether you want to be Neo, Derren Brown or Billy Idol Lite)

I like to be serious and have the odd joke, however I am young (20 years) and look even younger, (20?! Fucking hell, you look about 15! ) so I play around with my character and still experiment. (How do you mean? I mean, the logistics of that must be pretty strange. Do you decide before you go to bed that in the morning you will be, for the sake of argument, a gay Italian traffic cop, or does that decision happen when you wake up? Also, what happens if, for instance, you don't like the character of Gianni midway during the day and you want to change and become Steely Eye, a mystical Apache healer? Do you excuse yourself and return as Steely Eye? Sounds pretty confusing....)

I really want to scare people as I walk among them. (You what????!!!!! And you think mentalism will help you? There are easier ways to scare people than mentalism. You could a) Walk up to them with a big knife b)Shave your head, grow a goatee and have a swastika tattooed on your forehead along with the words, 'Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough'. Combine that with a scowl and chipped teeth and you'll be amazed how scared people get unless you happen to be amongst those of a similar ilk, in which case those bigger than you will not be scared or, c)Whip your cock out and walk around with a stiff one eye - this works wonders when women are present)

I will always remember a peer of mine at Uni. going to see the associate dean and saying "I felt like as I spoke to him, he was reading my mind" and that is how I want to be. (Sorry dude, there are several things at work here: The associate dean is older, more educated and is in a position of power. You are young, look even younger, less educated and are no position of any power. Not too difficult to ascertain where the problem is eh?)

I am unsure that scare is the correct label for what I mean. I want people to feel the power emanating from me. (Erm......right)

Like the associate dean I refer to. The idea of feeling the power and not just seeing the effect it has is a wonderful one, in my eyes. Of course a certain amount of this is down to charisma, (Got it in one shit-fer-brains, you've probably just identified what you are sadly lacking)

I feel but I still search for what else this "power" is and how I can create it around myself. As soon as this man walks into a room, there is a bubble around him which fills every corner of every space and says "look at me, I am all knowing and all seeing" (You mean, like Darth Vader? Other than him, the only other person I can think of is Steve Brooks. The bubble you refer to is called his gut and it's the fungus growing in his belly button that says "Look at me, I am all knowing and all seeing".)

Thanks so much for the advice. I have to say I also really like the idea of "normal person doing extraordinary things" like I look like a regular young guy, (a description that is open to wide interpretation) with white spiky hair (Billy Idol ceased to be fashionable circa 1986) and then I am able to do this amazing (in my opinion) things (erm...ok, if you say so).

Kind thoughts, (Can't you think of a more original sign-off? Banachek and John Smetana have done this variation to death. Actually, I would suggest you consider changing it to 'Lewd Thoughts'- You will be amazed how scary people will find you if they read that at the end of your posts)

Kennedy

(Thought reader, hypnotist and psychic entertainer) (Consider changing to Pervert, Thug and Homosexual S&M Entertainer - If that doesn't scare people, nothing will)"

Kennedy - Tips from the top

As an addendum to my last post, I got sent a divine nugget of comedy from one of my readers today who is a member of a closed forum called The Mentalists' Asylum. I'm not going to go into the details but there is a thread on microphones in which our man Kennedy posted a reply mentioning that he used such and such a mic because it made costume changes easier.

Someone called him out on the costume change bit, quite why I do not know.

Mr Segal, I'm going to make this a simple as I can. Kennedy is what in common parlance is refered to as a consummate professional. When you get paid as much as he does, or become as hideously famous as he is, the fans deserve just that bit more attention to detail. I mean, you wouldn't see Madonna performing to a packed out Wembley in the same outfit all night, would you? It's just not the done thing. As with Madonna, when you go to see a Kennedy show, you don't just see a show, you get an experience like no other.

Carrying on, Kennedy answers this query with this gem:

"I change costumes for the second act and I am too lazy to bebothered with unclipping mics and stuff, an interval is a break for me too, well that and prepping the second act into my jacket.

Sometimes my second act is a lot more serious than the first so I need to change to give a certain atmosphere etc."

Well said! That fucking told him.

Hang about....'second act is a lot more serious than the first'? Sounds vaguely familiar. Can't put my finger on it.

Hot damn! Got it. That's where that fucking plagiariser Derren got the idea from! Kennedy, you are too modest. Why didn't you just come out and admit to the world that you are the inspiration behind Derren's act? What a guy keeping it quiet for so long.

When I finally grow up I want to be sort of mentalist you are, yessir!

The Amazing Kennedy - Superstar of Mentalism

I was sent a link to this Magic Cafe thread the other day and I thought I would share this with you. It was this thread that made me realise how far behind in the fame game that Derren Brown, Max Maven, Banachek and Richard Osterlind are. In our rush to pour adulation onto these performers, as deserving as they are for their innovation and performing ability, we have overlooked the megastar quietly and without fuss, plying his trade in our midst. Yes, Ladies and Germs, I am talking about none other than the incomparable, the one and only, Kennedy.....

About halfway down there was a comment by everybody's favourite Derren-abe where he states that he actually has a bouncer walking around with him when he performs. This is fucking unbelievable. Actually, I tell a lie, it is downright inspirational. I tell you, this boy could teach the Hollywood 'A' List a thing or two let alone nickel and dime mentalists.

I don't envy Kennedy. His life must be a fucking nightmare. I mean, going out to the supermarket in a baseball hat, shades and wig must be a challenge unto itself in addition to dodging paparazzi, signing autographs, booking into hotels as Mr Neil Writer (or similar mentalism flavoured pseudonyms) and having screaming fans camp outside his parent's house. I wager he couldn't even blow his nose without some fanboy cadging the dripping left over Kleenex, whacking it into a ziplok bag and hocking it on Ebay as 100% genuine snot from the nose of Kennedy. If he even jerked off I bet it would make the front page of every supermarket tabloid from here to Anchorage. No sir, I don't like it. If this is what fame means I'll pass.

I would love to take a look at Kennedy's performance contract. The dressing room riders in particular would make great reading. I can't say for sure but I imagine the sort of conditions would be:

• A bowl of peanut M&M's with all the brown ones removed
• A Jeroboam of Cristal on ice, chilled to EXACTLY 2 degrees Celsius with 13 Lalique crystal flutes (because 13 is his lucky number - he's a mentalist for crissake!)
• A basket full of puppies for him to stroke
• A handbound edition of the latest Genii magazine with all articles containing Derren Brown to be highlighted
• A framed picture of Derren on his dressing table
• 5 decks of Red Backed Bicycle Cards, pre-broken in by a young Turkish boy
• The complete works of Daniel Love on a lectern ready to be read aloud to him by Laurence Fishburne dressed as Morpheus.

After his performance, Kennedy doesn't do autographs or anything like that. He can't risk having fans grab a piece of him. Instead, he is bundled under a blanket and smuggled out the back door of the venue into a waiting blacked out stretch limo as the compere states 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Kennedy has left the building....'

I've changed my mind about this boy. He is truly a lesson to us all. One day, maybe we can all aspire to be the megastar he is. Kennedy, we salute you.

Who's the Deddy?

On a lighter note, I've been alerted to a joker called Deddy Corbuzier aka 'mindgames' on the Magic Cafe.

Before you click on the following link, I must warn those of a nervous disposition or those with a weak heart to brace themselves. This is not for the faint hearted. On that note please click here

Ok, you back? Nope, your eyes did not deceive you. That was indeed a very, very scary copy of Max Maven.

The first time I saw that I sat in dumbstruck silence for about 60 seconds then I laughed so hard I popped a turtlehead.

Who the fuck is this prankster? Apparently he is Indonesia's greatest mentalist. Not an impressive boast when you consider that there's probably only a single digit number of them. If Corbuzier is a high water mark for Indonesian mentalism then it really says a lot.

What is funny about Corbuzier is not so much his appearance but his bare faced lying about it:

Check this thread out

Not only does he deny he is copying Max but he even has the cheek to state that he created the look independently. What are the chances of that eh? The cheeky cocksucking little prick.

Max Maven is a performer we all dearly love, his character, look and style were developed over many years and for this twat to take it, lock, stock and barrel is both disrespectful and wrong. Max Maven is a brand, an icon of mentalism and to use that distinctiveness as his own Corbuzier is making himself look like a bigger penis than he already is.

This is theft, pure and simple. Many of Indonesia's viewing public will not be exposed to Max and will assume that Corbuzier and Max are one and the same. Max is infinitely more successful than Corbuzier but in that part of the world Corbuzier is blatantly deceiving those that make him famous through the use of an iconic image that he has no right to.

In fact, I wonder how it would go down if I was to dye my hair like ginger pubes, shave a bald spot, sprout a patchy goatee and walk around in black velvet suits telling people to 'look at me'?

Shrink comes out of retirement

If some of you think that we had heard the last of Shrink, I guess we were wrong. It seems that despite his announcement a few months ago that he would shortly withdraw from the world of mentalism, our favourite balding scottish ogre (sorry...that was Shreck ) has done an about turn. It would appear that the flashing neon lights of The Magic Cafe proved to be too much of a lure for him. I can see where he's coming from. There's only so many times you can sit at home alone cracking one out with 7th Sense inserted up your jacksie before boredom sets in.

Anyway, ol' slaphead is getting increasingly embittered and needs the adulation of his legion of fans as I suppose since he gave up performing to packed out theatres he's feeling a bit unloved. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......

He despises Nailwriter members, hates the inmates of the Mentalists' Asylum and thinks everyone has ripped off his ideas yet tries to sell his products on the back of other's hype.

Shrink is a sad individual whose business ethics are somewhat suspect. How do I know? Well, there is a post Shrink made on the Cafe about his product, on the record, that I know is total, utter unadulterated bullshit.

If you're reading this Shrink, come and have a go you dumb fuck. You think I'm wrong?

I got one word for you: Oyster.

Osterlind's Mentalism For Dummies

One of the big events coming up is the release of Richard Osterlind's Easy to Master Mental Miracles DVD set from L&L. Aside from the totally preposterous name (since when should mentalism be 'Easy to master'? If you haven't got the intelligence to master mentalism you shouldn't be doing it. For fuck's sake...) this actually looks like quite a tasty set of DVDs.

Richard Osterlind is the sort of performer who has been around mentalism for so long he deserves to be hauled up a flag post and saluted. We all love the fella. Responsible for such creations as the Breakthrough Card System and the Perfected Centre Tear, Richard's achievements are numerous and credible. However, some members of the self appointed governing body of mentalism (The oooooooooh, scary, PEA) and others, have taken offence at title of the DVD set (fair point, granted, as it is piss poor) but most importantly at Richard's so called 'exposure' of the inner secrets of mentalism.

Ok, let's get this into perspective. The material Richard is performing and teaching are old and established classics, albeit his presentations of them. Somehow, that fucking lunatic Ford Kross and some of his cohorts seems to think that a) Osterlind is exposing these secrets in an 'Easy to Master' format and b) Ripping off the estates of Corinda, Annemann et al as he used the effects without permission nor financial recompense. My opinion on Kross is well documented. He's a miserable, bitter old douche bag who hates everybody. I wonder if he's as mouthy offline as he is online? If he is, he deserves to be taught some manners.

Anyway, I happen to think that Richard is doing a great service to mentalists. Many of these classic effects deserve to be revisited and have new life breathed into them. Often we, as mentalists, get too caught up in the latest book or latest effect and forget that even basic Corinda can fool the best of us. The exposure argument is really a non argument. I've seen Annemann for sale on the high street alongside Fanny Craddock's guide to cookery. What is the fucking difference? Are we going to hang Jean Hugard out to dry just because his Royal Road to Card Magic is widely available? The best way to guard secrets is to keep money out of the equation. As soon as things go on sale, no matter how expensive or how exclusive, things will leak.

The second argument is that Richard is ripping off the estates of the effects creators. That's bullshit. Richard credits the creators of the effects but does he need to pay them? Most of these creators are pushing up daisies and their earning abilities are undiminished by Osterlind's release. Besides, it is generally accepted that if you do your own version of an effect, that presentation becomes yours. Doing it on tape this is even more so. As far as I know, this is the first time most of these effects have been committed to film so Richard is doing something new and as such he only needs to credit the creators and need not ask permission.

So my advice? Richard, go for it. Best of luck to you. Fuck what those dickheads say. This is not about ethics, this is not about secrets. This is about personal envy. I suspect that there is another agenda at work but that is a whole different story.

The Rise of the Blogger

It would seem that since my sabbatical a number of new magic blogs has sprung up. This is great news as it means that an increasing number of us in this art are sick and tired of the bullshit, hypocrisy and let's face it, utter wank that we are exposed to. Taking the example of MCJ and Magic Rants and of course, yours truly, are two fantastic new blogs.

First up is John LeBlanc's blog Escamoteurettes . Now, I don't particularly like LeBlanc. In fact I think the guy is a prize cock, however I think he is a great writer and makes some good points. Most of all, Ford Kross hates him and in my book, that's a good thing. He tackles some very serious issues in a very cutting way. Great reading and keep up the good job.

Second is my boy Orias...his blog Psychic Journal. Mentalism flavoured and written in a no nonsense way it's a good read.

This whole trend away from the censorship of boards like that fucking joke of a forum The Magic Cafe, makes me smile. Free speech is a right, not a privilege, even on a 'private' board. The sooner that cunt Brooks learns that the better.

Blog Wars: The Return of the Gunn

Right...after my protracted absence I feel I should explain where I've been. The truth is I had a bit of bother with the law. Basically, I was hanging out at a friend's BBQ, enjoying the last of the summer weather and I was performing my usual repertoire of amazing mentalism effects when I was chanced upon by the evolutionary retarded gorilla boyfriend of a friend who, like most meatheads, wanted to impress his woman with his amazing ability to bollox any mentalism effect. So, there I was in the middle of an Osterlind CT when the fucker, spare rib in one hand, a Special Brew in the other decides to take a look at the billet and goes and smears BBQ sauce all over the writing. Needless to say I was not amused and like the consumate professional I am, I decide to nix the CT and go into something altogether more sure fire...Jermay's Twisted Palm (all those of you who are now sniggering, STFU..ok?). Despite my masterful presence and commanding use of suggestion (ok, I basically threw everything at him - heat, pulse, honesty, shadow etc) I still couldn't get his lines to move and in a desperate attempt to induce some kind of trance I resorted to my own variation of McGill's Head Tap Instant Induction: I hit the cunt over the head with a meat tenderiser. This had the desired effect in that unconsciousness was rapidly induce but unfortunately also caused a riot that resulted in me fending off a garden full of hirsute lunkheads with a combined IQ of exactly 12 armed with nothing but a Kielbasa and squeezy bottle of French's whilst a Police paddy wagon turned up and carted me off to jail. Rock and roll mentalism eh?

I was sentenced to 4 months for assault. I promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade and disappeared into the Cheshire underground where I have become a mentalist of fortune. I am currently writing this from an undisclosed location. If you have a mentalism problem, and you can find me, maybe you can hire...

Alright, joke over.

A lot of stuff has happened since my enforced absence. To all those who have sent me emails of encouragement, thank you and I appreciate it. I'll respond to you as soon as I can.

Let me see...Osterlind is getting flak for his new series of DVD's, Shrink has decided to come back out of retirement, Max Maven has discovered his own Mini-me, the blogs are multiplying, Brooks and co at the Cafe have redefined the word 'arbitary' and America may have a new president. Jeez, the end of the world is nigh...

Let's crack on...

Magic Cafe Wanker of the Week

Instead of infrequent polls, I've instead decided to have a weekly award for the most insane, annoying or generally slap worthy Cafe denizen. All you have to do is just submit nominations to me at the normal address together with the post that has earned the nominee the nomination.

I'll publish all the best nominations and make a decision on who is the Wanker of the Week.

To start you all off I have recently been drawn to the insane utterances of Jonathan from Oklahoma. Read it here.

If his geographic location is not enough to clue you in to the retrograde nature of his beliefs, his posts leave you in no doubt as to his state of mind. (I apologise in advance to all Oklahoma residents who share neither Jonathan's opinions nor his redneck bible-bashing genetics). Here's some advice for you Jonathan: it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think that you are stupid than to open it and leave people in no doubt.

Back to business

Sorry for being absent the past week but I was away taking care of business. So I apologise to all those that have missed my venom. Anyway, I'm back, so it's business as usual.

First up, it would appear to have been a very interesting week. Derren has found his way to the Cafe and the shit to brains ratio has taken a hardy hit towards the former. More so than usual, the banalities that have been posted have been of such magnitude that my breath was momentarily taken away. Fucking hell, I didn't realise mentalists had dim witted teenage girl groupies. The most surprising thing however is that Kennedy hasn't posted a question. Still, it's quite funny the people who crawl out of the woodwork screaming 'Derren! Derren! Over here! Remember me??? I saw you at your show in [insert obscure backwater English country town] and I waited 10 hours for you to sign my arsecheek! I've even had it tattooed on....'

If it really is Derren, I applaud his patience. The questions that have been fielded are toe curling. I even notice that the world's biggest douchebag, Yaniv Deautsch, has posted a question under the alias 'Svengali' asking for details of Derren's new series. He even had the cheek to refer to Derren as 'Mr Brown' and sign off with 'Please!' expecting the exclamation mark would somehow make Derren take notice of him.

Listen Yaniv, you ugly, thick-as-pigshit numbskull brown-nosing cocksucker, your credibility as a human being and a mentalist is about as laughable as Michael Jackson's claims that he's normal. You can use Svengali, Baby Magician, Houdini Bleeding, Din, Neal Roter or any of your hundred other aliases and you'll still be seen for the knobend you are.

Back to the point, and you'll see my prediction that Derren not saying much has been bourne out. His answers are stock and don't say much of anything. Shame really as if he had a bit more leeway in a closed forum then maybe his answers would be more candid. This brings me nicely onto my next point. Check out his thread.

One of my biggest gripes with the Cafe is that the dickhead count is extremely high. This is due in no small part to the ease in which any ordinary Joe can stroll in and start reading. This lack of vetting of new members is one of the reasons why the Cafe is such a shitty place and why anyone of any note has jumped ship or has curtailed their posting frequency. Combined with the draconian and arbitrary application of censorship, you have nothing except pure dross. The Genii forum run by Richard Kaufmann may be an open forum but the sensible lack of censorship ups the quality of the postings.

In order to prevent the feeding frenzy and the influx of non-magician newbies bombarding Derren with stupid questions you really need to instigate some kind of vetting system for new members. I'm not recommending an obscure and cryptic test like that used for the Wonderwizards forum, but something that will keep out the curious or the idiot groupies. Even just moving a VIP visit to the Banquest Room might suffice. The simple fact is, Derren's visit has become a boring PR exercise. If the questions were from pre-qualified mentalists and magicians and the answers were only viewable by them, then maybe Derren's answers may not be such a washout. To use the brick and mortar analogy, currently the Magic Cafe is a low rent greasy spoon with low life clientele. By introducing a test, you are hiring a team of bouncers to vet all entrants. Eventually you end up with the online equivalent of exclusive nightclub Chinawhite. Food for thought.

Scribner's answer to Doug Segal's post was especially nonsensical:

"We have many non-professional or working members that merely have an interest in magic."

Hang on, I thought this was 'magicians helping magicians'? So does merely having an interest in magic mean that you are a magician? Fuck me, if that is the case, most laypeople who pay to go to a magic show would qualify as a magician by your definition. I mean, if they were interested enough to pay to see magic, they must have an interest right?

"We especially watch for those members that continually post nonsense to reach the 50 post goal and try our best to prevent that. "

It begs the question how Mattisdx managed to slip through the net. If those rules were applied correctly then he would still be on 6 posts.

"The Café is meant for all levels of membership whether beginner or advanced professional and setting up an entrance exam would not be in the best interest or in line with the goal of the MagicCafe."

True, the goal of the Cafe is to make money from advertising. The best way to attract advertising is to boast how many members you have. By instigating an entrance exam you automatically set up a roadblock to joining and you can't have that can we? Sadly, that is about as close to an admission of the Cafe's true agenda as we are going to get.

ADDENDUM TO DREAM SIGNS REVIEW

I just saw this written by Banachek:

"Now back to Dream Signs, a brilliant piece of work, well thought out and certainly a miracle if used in the right situation with the right people."

Absolutely. But then again, similar words were said about TWID and it is pretty much majority opinion that it is a great steaming turd.

The words 'a miracle if used in the right situation with the right people' can be applied to any mentalism effect, no matter how dire. It is universally accepted that Steve Fearson's Station Manager effect is eye wateringly bad, yet I know at least one person who has slayed a group of spectators with it. Kind of makes that last statement a pretty much non-statement really.

In the past I've accused Steve of being a bit of a rent-a-quote merchant and this still stands. Steve, you're a great guy and I love everything you do, but for the love of god, be a bit more realistic in your reviews of stuff or at least qualify your comments a bit more.

Cafe Capers

It's the small hours of the morning, I'm tired and not a little irritable. The reason? Well, the Magic Cafe has just taken another pot shot at free speech. What???!!!!! I hear you all cry. Surely not the Magic Cafe? Yes indeedy folks. It is true. I can't believe it myself.

This all goes back to my Dream Signs review I posted yesterday. Someone posted a link to the review on the Dream Signs thread and it seemed to have ruffled a few feathers and was promptly removed for breaching flaming and exposure regulations. Another post a few hours later linking to this site was also removed as well as all subsequent posts supporting the right for the link to exist including a lovely post by Sir T quoting cafe regulations back at the powers that be, esssentially the part of the regs that disclaims all responsibility for the content of external links.

This makes me laugh. What total and profound bullshit this is. Those cunts can't even adhere to a consistent application of their own rules. It's a typical display of the flagrant double standards under which the Cafe operates and the primary reason why it is the cesspit it is. They obviously hate me so I'm germinating a little game for you all to play which will really fuck up those cocksuckers.

I've not thought this idea through properly but I'm proposing this:

A game where readers of The Gunnsight aim to link to The Gunnsight as many times as possible over a two day period. The winner will get a mystery prize sent to them. Fuck it, depending on how it pans out I might even reward all the biggest troublemakers. There are no rules as to the number of aliases you can use, just email me your alias when you send me the link so I can keep score. Make a note of the topic where you posted the link and send it to me as soon as it is done.

The idea is to cause as much disruption on the Cafe as possible over a two day period. Let those moderators do some fucking work for a change. Hell, if you get banned it's all in a good cause. I think I'm going to enjoy this. You see, more they hate me and links to this blog, the more I will fuck them up coz I know it winds them up. If you want to play and thinks this might be a bit of a caper, email me and I'll set a date when this thing will start. I'm thinking about starting this when Derren come to the Cafe. The funny thing is that nothing about this is illegal so Scribner, Brooks, Cutts and the rest can go fuck themselves. Those spineless wankers are in for a fun time come the 12th.

Magic Notes takes note

Heartening news today. I've heard on the grapevine that the guys at Underground Collective who run Magic Notes, erstwhile purveyor of e-books for the discerning mentalist, are looking to bring some sweeping changes to their site to weed out the dross that we have become subjected to in the past few months.

From what I hear, Jamie Badman, UC's main man, has become concerned with the somewhat negative reactions that certain manuscripts have garnered and wants to do something about it. Apparently, Magic Notes will shortly bring into action a rating system for manuscripts that they sell. How this will work is that you purchase a manuscript and you get one vote between 1 and 10. If a manuscript consistently gets a rating of below 3, it gets pulled from sale. This, I think, is a laudable approach to customer service and one other dealers should seek to emulate. It's a nice QA system and one that hits the author where it hurts, straight in the pocket and cuts through the bullshit advertising copy. If there is any truth in this rumour then I, for one, applaud it and strongly urge them to implement it ASAP. It's not quite shareware mentalism but it does show a promising move over to a system where a manuscript lives and dies by its merits, not by its advertising claims.

Dream Signs Review

As some of you know, I'm a no nonsense kind of guy. I like my mentalism purchases to do exactly what they say on the tin. If they do, I praise them, if they fail to live up to their billing, I'm gonna cuss the fuck out of them. Fair, right? You know, I hate being a cunt but someone's got to tell it like it is otherwise we will be buggered senseless by those who release second rate products. Dream Signs by Daniel Love is such an instrument. Whilst it is not the foot long, black rubber, knobbly strap-on of TWID fame, it could be considered a smaller, cheaper and dare I say, more refined though no less intrusive, handheld version.

Ok, let me clarify why I bought this before the mails all come in accusing me of being a naive fool who should know better. Over the weekend a post appeared on the Magic Cafe written by everyone's favourite Derren Brown wannabe, Kennedy. Read it here. Anyway, the poor misguided idiot came in his pants whilst extolling the virtues of Daniel Love's new effect, Dream Signs, where you guess a spectator's starsign under seemingly impossible conditions.

***INCOMING TRANSMISSION*** Daniel who??? As an aside, and to give you some background on this new joker on the block, Love is a small time mentalist who achieved his five seconds of fame by becoming one of the last five (or was it four?) volunteers chosen to assist Derren Brown during last autumn's Russian Roulette stunt. Ever since then, he has attempted to milk this for everything it's worth even down to, and check how crass this is, selling Derren signed memorabilia from the Russian Roulette show. He claims to have been performing for years and had a radio show (a claim subsequently withdrawn) yet no one I know knows of him - and I know a fair few, believe me. He is now seen as yet another in the endless stream of Derren Brown wannabes. (Yawn) ***TRANSMISSION TERMINATED***

So to carry on with my story, Kennedy posts one of the biggest cocksucking endorsements of a product I, and many others, have ever seen for a long time. The suckers all go for the bait, including me but for different reasons, and Love flogs a fair few that weekend thanks to Derren Kennedy. Then the backlash starts, and rightly so. First of all let me get one thing clear, if you buy a manuscript on the recommendation of a halfwit juvenile wankmeister like Kennedy, stop fucking complaining. You deserve everything you get and you'll get fuck all sympathy from me. However, I can understand the indignation and you are right to feel shafted.

Let's examine Kennedy's post:

"The method is so *** good! I am not receiving financial gain from Mr Love, however I must say that this is the closest to real mind reading that we have come!"

Really Mr Kennedy? Obviously you are not aware of the techniques of cold reading or of muscle reading. You show all the symptoms of Knepperphilia characterised by excessive overstatement, hyperbole and gratuitous exaggeration.

" You ask no questions, nothing is written down, no pre-show and totally impromptu you can read their mind, you name their star sign! What's more no progressive anagrams. You can do it face to face and over the phone! "

No questions? No progressive anagrams? Over the phone, or face to face? It sounds like Mr Love has sold his soul to the devil and has discovered some kind of ancient, mystical shit that allows you to 'read' someone without having to say a word. Sadly, this is all very, very misleading and borders on the false. I'll explain later.

Right, what do you get? For $15 you get a 19 page e-book that will attempt to teach you how to divine a spectator's star sign without asking questions and without the use of progressive anagrams. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it? Trust me, it is.

The first thing that strikes me about this manuscript is the incredibly contrived Derren Brown style writing. For fuck's sake man, get a fucking personality of your own! Just because you've been on Derren's show, doesn't make you him! Stop trying to be like him, it's not big and it's not clever. Rather like Bevvybevbevbevvybevvbevvybevbevvybevbevbevvybev.

The second thing is the claims the effect makes. Do you ask the spectator questions? Well, technically you're not, you're giving them instructions (unless you phrase these instructions by saying, 'would you mind...?' or 'Could you...?'). However, they way it's marketed you would think that the effect entailed silence and mime or real telepathy. The second claim, that it doesn't use a progressive anagram and the spectator remains silent throughout...that's not strictly true. It doesn't involve letters, which an anagram does, but it does employ a progressive visual fishing sequence based on verbal cueing. Say what?! Let's break it down. You give a predetermined set of instructions and based on the reactions to these instructions you have your answer or you move onto another instruction until you reach your answer. Like a progressive anagram only done with visual cues. Kenton did something very similar in his Truly Invisible effect from Wonder Words 2. It can work I would imagine, if a good enough application can be found for it. Sadly, Dream Signs is not it.

The other problem with Dream Signs is the nature of the progression sequence. It is not the easiest thing to remember and will need a huge amount of practice. Luckily Love includes a crib sheet. The other problem, and this is a fundamental problem, is the nature of the physical reaction you are trying to read. This effect is based on pauses. However, if the spectator remains slient, what does the spectator need to pause from? It really should be based on facial reactions. What if the spectator is not the brightest in the world or does not react in any way? Love touches upon this but this really can be solved with proper spectator choice I suppose.

The instructions that you are supposed to give are quite silly. I won't go into them but they really are quite illogical and open to misunderstanding. All you need is someone to ask for clarification and you are fucked. You really cannot rephrase them all that much without tipping something.

I'm going to admit that Dream Signs is not a complete fuck-up. The principle has merit and could work at a push. I imagine only a handful of performers could pull this off. You really need tremendous spectator management skills to make this work. Experienced cold readers could pull this off too. If it does come off, it would still only be a so-so effect. Guessing someone's star sign is not the most impressive display of mentalism in the world. It's fucking cheesy. Can you imagine trying to practise this effect?

The final gripe, about performing it over the phone or radio....you can, but it's not this effect. It's this effect adapted to include verbal responses from the spectator. You might as well use a PA...
Still, it still beats TWID for value and intellectual merit.

I've touched upon this point before but it would seem that every idiot these days seems to be publishing an e-book. This is a case in point. If it was included as part of a larger book of effects, I would happier with it. Personally, I suspect this is not a truly tried and tested effect. It's an idea that has yet to be fully developed into something spectacular. The biggest problem with Dream Signs is the lack of honesty in the advertising and in his credit, Love has retreated somewhat in his position and has talked down the merits of the effect since a few have called him out on it. I really don't think there is a problem disclosing the basis for the method as I have done here as I have still not divulged the full method merely given a certain amount of truth with which potential purchasers can make an informed decision as to whether to spend their money or not.

Am I a kick-ass mentalism purchase or Not?

I've had a spare hour this afternoon so I decided to create a little toy for you all to play with. Rather like a quick visit to Madam Hand and her five lovely daughters, the 'Am I a kick-ass mentalism purchase or Not' site is an instant piece of no frills gratification. It's not very deep but ultimately it gives the power to judge a product back to the consumer not some unctuous fart like Michael Close or Jamy Swiss. It's no nonsense, accurate and most of all it's yours.

I've already started you off with a few items, some excellent, some so-so and some I wouldn't even use to clean dog shit off my shoe with. Feel free to add your own. If you want to host the picture for free, I suggest this site. Just upload and cut and paste the direct link to the pic into the 'Am I a kick-ass mentalism purchase or Not' submit box.

For some fun examples of my earlier attempts, click here and also here.

PS. For the diehard Kenton fans out there, I've added the Kenton Klassic Thong to the site. Kick-ass? I would if I ever saw anyone wearing this monstrosity...make mine an XXL.

Official: Bartlewizard hates Gunn :-(

Let it not be said I'm not a fair man. I received this missive earlier today from ol' buddy Bartlewizard, so I'm going to post it verbatim as promised and answer some of his points.

Dear Mr "Gunn",
I have said little publicly about your amusing and astonishing little site
but feel it's about time I gave you some comments.

Thank you, I'm flattered you took the time out of your busy schedule.

It's curious that you know soooo much about the Magic Cafe yet it's a place
you hate so much. Why visit it? Why keep up to date with it's happenings
(which you obviously do) if it annoys you so much? Could it be you really
have nothing better to do and are monumentally sadder in every way than the
very people you are slagging off?

I find the Magic Cafe a great source of amusement rather like having a little menagerie on my desktop. I drop in from time to time out of morbid curiousity. Being 'monumentally sad' is a subjective opinion, but I'm honest in my views and in my expression of them.

For the record and so you can make your parody more accurate, I've only done
readings for 12 years, not 30. I do not dispute the fact that Geller has
been caught cheating, and certainly not with the mighty Banachek. I do
question those who claim that they know ALL of Geller's methods as I think
it's obvious they don't. I don't really care one way or the other if he is
real - he's made a phenomenal succes from 3 "effects" when most Mentalists
and Magicians strive to acquire hundreds of effects which they will never
master.

ooooooh! I stand corrected. [Slap myself on the wrist]. In regards to Geller, the fact that he cheats is enough to state that he is not 'the real deal' irrespective of whether anyone knows all his methods. The fact that methods are being discussed at all is enough to negate the presence of paranormal abilities.

I also want to pick you up on your choice of books. I agree with yo about
Fundamentals but disagree with your choice of Rowland's book for Cold
Reading. Rowland is a debunker and his book is fine if you want to make
sport of baiting psychics. It doesn't teach you to respect your client and
keep there well-being in mind - in fact, after reading the book you will end
up feeling that people who go for readings are idiots. If you want to learn
to be a REAL reader then you need a proper book on any divination system and
Richard Webster's Quick and Effective Cold Reading to start you off.

At-fucking-last, we actually agree on something...(applause)...Moving swiftly on, Ian Rowland's book is written from a debunker's perspective. Big deal, that doesn't destroy its relevance. It is still the best book, in my view, from which to learn the mechanics of cold reading. I haven't read Webster so I can't comment but I have read Brad Henderson's 'The Dance' and whilst it is a great book, Full Facts has the edge due it's comprehensiveness. As for people who go for readings being idiots...well, your words not mine.

If you were as clever and as "on-the-button" and as popular as you claim
then your profile views would be higher and you wouldn't need to skulk away
under an assumed name. The fact that you continually hide your true identity
proves that:
a) You lack the courage of your convictions
b) You are unable to argue coherently which is why you set up your own
little site where you can spew your bile without anyone else getting a word
in.

Profile views is not the same as a hit counter you spanner. FYI, I have a invisible hit counter on the site and my blog achieves around 400-500 hits per day. Not huge, but respectable enough given Gunnsight's short existence. I choose an alias because it is my choice but that does not show that I lack courage in my views. It merely shows that I am pragmatic. The politics of this world are such that I have no reasonable choice in the matter. Make of that what you will. I set this site up because I favor free speech, not the saccharine politically correct censorship of the Magic Cafe. I do not fear conflict but I do fear the political ramifications, and if my views offend you, tough shit, mate. If I did not want anyone getting a word in, this post will not exist or it would be heavily edited. It lends the lie to your last accusation then...

If you ever manage to develop the ability to argue your points properly AND
the courage to come out with your real name then by all means drop me a
line. Until then I will endeavour to ignore your grubby little site and
remove myself from the Cafe until your identity is revealed.
Yours desparingly,
David

.

This site was never about argument, merely my views on certain topics that others think but have not had the guts to voice. My anonymity does not negate my right to voice them. Feel free to ignore this site, but somehow I doubt that this will be your last missive to me or on the Cafe. You need to get a sense of humour as you take yourself way too seriously. Chill Winstaaaaaaaaaan.....

Magicians Wanking Magicians

After yesterday's attack of sanity I've snapped out of it and back to my usual toxic self. I've been asked why I dislike the Magic Cafe so much. The simple and probably truest answer is 'there's not much to like' but that would be a massive cop out by me. So the best thing I'm going to do is re-visit some of the ground covered in my inaugural rant and expand upon why those fuckers at the Cafe annoy me so much.

For those of you who have been living in Kazakhstan or Nebraska, the Magic Cafe is an internet discussion board billed as 'Magicians helping Magicians' run by that butterball Nazi Steve Brooks. (BTW, Andy at MCJ has found an appallingly accurate pic of Brooks at MAGIC Live where, dressed like a handbag carrying Spongeball he stumbles blindly into a group photo looking for all the world like Jabba the Hutt's ugly sister. Maybe we can submit it for FHM magazine's 'Who the fuck are you?' column? Thanks to Andy for the belly laugh).

The massive issue I have with the Cafe is that it's run by Brooks and as such it suffers from hypocrisy, double standards and shady dealings with advertisers. Don't take my word for it, ask L&L's Steve Pellegrino or read about it here. It also has the most oppressive policy against free speech since Stalin. The Cafe also attracts complete strokers with the dependability of a turd attracting flies.

What then makes the Cafe such a haven for these numbnuts? The first clue is that ridiculous neon sign. 'Magicians helping magicians'. Lol! This one phrase says it all. The idea is that if you join the Cafe you are automatically a magician. The second thing is that if you post something, however cretinous, you are helping another magician. So let's recap: a complete nobody fancies himself as a magician, joins the Cafe and therefore mentally bolsters the flawed notion that he is now a magician by appearing to be part of a community, then posts something thinking he is helping another 'magician' thereby creating this completely false notion that he is now somehow important within this little world. What total bullshit. Sadly, if you look at cunts like Yaniv Deautsch or Shrink you will see that this is pretty much spot on.

The other psychological feature of the Magic Cafe is that of showboating. Let me explain. It's like the online equivalent of whipping out your wanger and comparing with others to see who has the biggest or a massive speed wanking contest. Most of the dipshits on the Cafe are not working performers. Far from it, the Cafe allows them to live out this world of fantasy where they feel they are someone important. They can indulge in virtual oneupsmanship, recounting fictitious anecdotes about they did such and such or when they performed for such and such or trying to undermine another post with some kind of obscure reference from an ancient or long forgotten text. What bullshit. Most of the time such bollocks never happened or if it did it has been embellished to the nth degree but hey, who's to know right? A typical convoluted thread on the Cafe might go like this:

Newbie: I saw Derren perform an effect on TV last night were he got a spectator to sort a pile of photos out into living and dead people without looking at the backs. Any idea as to resources?

Bill Palmer: It's a variation of a card effect called 'Out of this World' by Paul Curry.

Mattisdx: It's called 'Out of My Arse' by Paul Curry

Svengali: Any reviews?

Shrink: Bill's right, however I have a better version that uses the IA where the cards appear to sort themselves and I have used a special embedded language pattern in the script that will trance out the spectator and blow them to another reality just by being in my very presence. I'm deciding whether to publish it but IA owners who are members of my special forum can get a sneak preview for a very special price before I decide to raise it. I designed this variation because my sleights are shit but in all the years of performing for sell out audiences I've never had one question me why my card handling skills are so useless since I started using this variation. Mabey it had something to do with the fact that they all left out of boredom. By the way, does anyone want to buy my revolutionary new effect, 7th Sense? It will turn you from zero to hero, make you coffee, iron your laundry and if you store it in your trousers, it'll get you off too...it's cheap for the price and I'll even throw in a free toaster.

Yaniv Deautsch: Actually Bill, Paul Curry never invented 'Out of this World', it was first published a small essay on page 276 of the 1725 book called 'Ye Olde Book of Mentale Magick' by Bootle Von Bumtrinket. Just a thought....

Bambaladam: How dare Curry steal another working performer's material without giving credit. I think we should boycott all of Curry's material and burn him at the stake for piracy and exposure. Also, how dare you want to perform Derren's material! It's Derren's and Derren's alone, if he wanted you to perform it he would release it. No respect, kids these days....

Greg Arce: Actually Yaniv, I knew Von Bumtrinket and we were discussing this very effect over a mug of mead way back in the spring of 1725. I had the basic idea because I had just finished my annual reading of Mind, Myth and Magick and decided to rework the premise of Water's effect Bovinecoprologexis. I had no idea Von Bumtrinket would do such a thing as he seemed like such a decent fellow. I'm just setting the record straight. However, Von Bumtrinket and Curry both missed out on some vital subtleties that only I know so I might release my version, which uses raw slabs of beef, at some point. If anyone wants it for free, PM me.

Kennedy: Wow Mr Arce, that's amazing. It makes my blood boil when people do that. I happen to do a version that also uses raw slabs of beef. I would love to hear your justification for it. No doubt it will be gold dust as your work always is. By the way Mr Arce, I love you, not as much as Mr Osterlind but I love you....

Anabelle: I likee PK Touches!!! Has anyone seen my new avatar yet? I want some attention!!!!!

[Cue several pages of chat-up attempts]

Yaniv Deautsch: Has anyone seen my new effect The Wizard is Dead yet? Someone buy it...please, please, pretty please........the reviews are great, even Banachek likes it....?

Looch: Has anyone seen my cat?

Stephen Long: I happen to know that Derren uses a complete new method for this effect. We discussed it over pizza and he will be including it in his new book for magicians sometime in 2008. He's also planning something pretty amazing in his new show but I have been sworn to secrecy.

Salsa Dancer: I'm with you Shrink. I love IA and can't wait to see your new application for it. By the way, I've also discovered that IA is great for removing driveway grease stains and cleaning my George Foreman grill.

Gio: I hate Mark Strivings, he is an asshole. I sent my money to him a year ago and never got my SUC. Don't do business with him!

Mattisdx: lol

Yaniv Deautsch: I believe Uri Geller did a similar effect in the seventies. Does anyone have an reviews???? Just thinking out loud...

Bartlewizard: To my knowledge, and speaking as someone who has done readings professionally for over 30 years, Uri did do something like this and despite what Randi says, I believe he used his considerable psychic powers to accomplish this feat. Regards, David.

Banachek (VIP, Houston): I happen to know that Geller cheated when he performed this, I was on the same stage as him and I caught him. I'm just straightening the facts as there seems to be some confusion.

Bartlewizard: How do you know he cheated? I happen to think that whilst Geller may cheat from time to time, he may also do it for real as you do not know for certain. I'm certain he didn't cheat.

Banachek: Yes he did.

Bartlewizard: No he didn't.

Banachek: Yes he did.

Bartlewizard: No he didn't.

[Continue like this for 4 pages]

David Scribner: Ok folks, I'm locking this thread because Brooks told me to.

[Hours later, the thread disappears.......]


In case some of you think that the above was a direct lift from the Cafe, it wasn't. It was a parody but you would be forgiven for thinking it was kosher. The fact of the matter is that people only post on the Cafe if they a) Want to show off how much knowledge they have and b) want to feel important c) Undermine another performer or d) sell something.

By far and away the worst offenders are the armchair mentalists who want to show off how much knowledge they have and also undermine a few other people in the process therefore lifting themselves out of their mundane little lives. If they can also sell a few crap products in the process that is also a bonus. Magician helping magicians could not be further than the truth. It is more like 'Magicians wanking magicians' or 'magicians wanking themselves'.

The Magic Cafe has become nothing but a collection of halfwit nevergonnabees who have no idea about mentalism or magic yet are content to sit there and offer 'authoritative' advice to other halfwits or preach from their high horses about ethics when their consciences are far from pristine themselves. Talk about the blind leading the fucking blind. They pretend to be nice and respectful to each other whilst they secretly hate each other's guts. I'm not perfect by any means but at least I don't sit around biting my tongue pretending to be nice to idiots who are trying to undermine me or trying to make themselves look good at my expense. I believe in honesty to oneself. If we were all to practice this, the world would be a much more straightforward place without the bullshit.

Zodiac speaks

Dear Mr. Gunn,

I have to say I enjoy your site. A friend of mine, from across the world, sent me a link to it. I am happy to know I have finally made it to your site. So I say thanks for the 1500 post comment.

I was going to try figuring out who you are, but why bother? Everyone has a theory. A few even sent me emails claiming that they're on to me! WHAT? These armchair experts are all up in a quandary and are pissed. Why? Perhaps you they are scared your touching a nerve.

To often we, WORKING FEW PROFESSIONALS, bite our tongues and don't say enough because of our business relationships. A professional courtesy so to speak. I use to be the brash A - Hole who told it like it was. I have even received my covetted Bad Boy of Mentalism award 2004 from the cafe you so bash. Now, I hold back from saying what I really feel. Why? Because we all hope to be liked and respected by our peers and the "Experts" out there.

So, thats why I am writing today. Not to say I agree with you, not to say that I like you (In actuality I loathe you), but I do respect your balls of brass! I support Free Speech and a Free internet. I know SEVERAL top rated mentalists who support you in secret because of the damned politics of this job, none will publicly support you. So let me be the first to actually state that: "I respect your opinion, and support the Gunn Sight..." Why? Because like A - Holes, everyone has an opinion and needs a venue to express it.
PSI-ncerely
Scott

"Dr. Zodiac"The cure for the common card trick!
708.268.8403
http://www.doctorzodiac.com

Gunn's beginner's guide to mentalism - A Reader Reply

After I wrote my take beginner's mentalism yesterday I've a number of replies, both good and bad. What follows is a mail I received that I shall reply to and hopefully clarify some of the points I made yesterday.

"Hey Tommy,

I like reading your blog, it's an interesting read and you should keep writing it. Now, after reading the beginner's guide to mentalism, I must express my views on some points. Take it as what it is: my opinion only. This is no rocket science, there is no 100% sure of what's right.
I don't participate in public forums, mostly because they are shit and the private ones aren't much better now either. So I'm avoiding forums, they are only time wasters; long were the days where you actually learned something there. I also don't sell any material to the magic comunity.

On with your article:
Basic principles:I agree with your recomendation of "Fundamentals", and I'll also add "Principia Mentalia" and "Art of Mentalism I & II". The old books I would say they are must haves too, especially the Jinx and Corinda. Yes, the techniques and presentation are outdated, but they give you the basic tools you can use to build upon and expand. If you start reading Cassidy work with no other preparation of the basic tools, it won't be as useful to you as if you already know the basic principles: one-ahead, swami, billet work, muscle reading, etc that are all described on the old texts. Even Cassidy's "Fundamentals" you already need to have a prior knowledge of mentalism to understand it fully.
Your persona is obviously one of the most important things in mentalism like you mentioned. How to choose one is described very well in "Fundamentals".

Agreed that Annemann and Corinda are great books, I have never said otherwise, my point was that there are better books that cover the same ground and contain more relevant and applicable material. Are these books 'must-haves' for the beginner? My point is, no. A beginner will get a lot out of the books but I truly believe that they will get a lot more out of Fundamentals. Your point about Fundamentals needing prior knowledge to understand properly possibly true to a degree as I came to it only after reading Corinda and Annemann but even if I was a total newbie I feel Fundamentals contains lots more practical material.

Sugestion - Agreed on Ormond McGill's book but I also don't dismiss Luke Jermay work. I use some of his effects regularly and they work very well; if he is a good performer or not, I don't give a fuck, I only care about my performances and the use I make of his material. Of course there's a time and place for everything, I don't use any effect purely based on suggestion on a stage show, it's boring!
Agreed on Kenton Knepper, no need to spend money on his bullshit effects.

I don't dismiss Jermay either. I think his greatest gift to mentalism is the controversy surrounding his act and his methods. 7 Deceptions was a kick up the backside for mentalism and despites its obvious flaws that book and Building Blocks promoted debate. I don't really care a huge amount for them myself but Jermay does have some interesting points to make. Is the stuff suggestion though? I don't think it is. It's nice psychology but nothing more. Building Blocks is just an expansion of one rule 'Say something will happen [within reason and with enough belief] and you will convince someone it will happen'. All of Jermay's suggestion work is based on that one rule. Does it make it suggestion? Not in the true hypnotic sense but if it works, why not?

Cold Reading - This I think you're totally off base! How many readings have you done? One thing is doing 2 minute readings as a part of a psychometry routine on a stage show and another thing is doing psychic readings! If you are refering to first ones, Ian's book will work well, to the second ones you will fail miserably.
You HAVE to learn a system. Like you said, THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS! Especially since many people know how the basics on how to read tarot cards, palmreading (more people than you think). Learn a system, and stick with it! Learn as much as you can, learn as many books as you can about it. I'm not talking about cold reading books, I'm talking about the 5$ or $10 dollar books you can buy on amazon about palmreading or tarot. You'll become a much better reader if you actually know what you're talking about instead of saying random things you might have heard about that system like Ian recommends.

There is a difference between mentalism and 'psychic' readings. I recommend Ian's book in the mentalism context. The skill of cold reading is invaluable to a mentalist because it provides the tools to drop in bits of information during an act that act as 'convincers' supporting your supposed abilities. You don't just 'cold read' when performing mentalism but as an adjunct to a mind reading effect or revelation. As a skill it is invaluable as it is always with you and allows you to take advantage of opportunities and provides an extra layer of safety when things aren't going too well. In that sense, Ian's book really is the best.

PK - I have not seen Banachek DVD's nor do I intend to spend 100$ on any DVD set. If you're really interested in PK buy "Gellerism Revealed" by Ben Harris. There you have it, the basics of PK for less than 25$. It's enough...then you can develop your own bends and twists. Yes...I'm saying for you to actually THINK instead of just using more bullshit other people's material! I know a guy from an asian country that only uses one spoon bend that he developed, and it was enough to create a whole reputation for himself, enough to get him on TV. Is it better than Banachek bends? probably not; is it enough? YES!
But convincing PK is a whole other ballgame that I have no interest in discussing it here.

Gellerism Revealed is a good book but as I stated previously, due to the visual nature of the methods, a DVD or video is the quickest and easiest way to learn. Banachek's methods are undoubtedly the de facto standard for learning PK effects and that is why it receives my recommendation.

Effects - I don't have most of the "must reads" books that everyone and his father recomends. I don't have Paramiracles, MM & M, Theater of the MInd, Stunners Plus, etc, nor do I intend to ever buy them. They are not crap, they are probably very good with well thought effects, but unless you are a rich man why would you spend fortunes on them? If you already have a few essential books that provide the solid knowledge of mentalism you have enough. If you really need some inspiration for your effects, the best deal is to find one or two periodicals like Jinx, Pentagram, Invocation, Magick, SYZYGY. You may spend 150$ on Magick, but you don't need to buy any more books of effects for years!

Agreed, you really only need one book of effects. Richardson gets my vote. Magick is good as are most of the periodicals you mention. I made the point of having just one book of effects if you can afford it.

Must have gimmicks: I cannot believe that you actually recomended wallets, marked deck and impression devices as must have gimmicks to carry all the time!! Do you carry a clipboard with you all the time?? On a backpack or something? Who the hell carries a clipboard?? a sharpie? I make swamis out of buttons! I once bought Jerry Somerdin's swami for 12$, I lost it two weeks later, there goes 12$! Now every swami costs me less than 20cents, and guess what? NOBODY ever questioned "why the pencil?". If I need to drop it, who cares? I make a dozen more in 15minutes almost for free.
There are NO must have gimmicks. If you need something to do at the drop of a hat, learn billet work. Learn a good peek and a good switch. Build routines like Name/Place Cassidy routine, that you can perform everywhere with two pieces of paper. Learn muscle reading, learn pulse stopping, learn hypnosis. These are much stronger than "producing" a pack of cards out of your jacket...what are you: a magician or mentalist?
I never owned a single trick wallet in my life, I never needed one, nor do you.
A clipboard? for pre-show sure...for impromtu ABSOLUTELY NOT!

My list of gimmicks is what I use and what I recommend as a MAXIMUM. A clipboard is not a carry around tool and I said that you only need one if you perform shows. It is totally optional. But if you are serious working mentalist, I think you'll need one or at least have one in your tool box. My recommendations are for products that I know are of high quality and work they way they are supposed to. I would not say they are mandatory but if you had things that performed the same sort of job and you are happy with, go ahead.

I don't think anyone will say that what I recommend is overkill. A Peek wallet, a swami and a deck of cards, be they Bikes or ESP cards. The card debate is not something that I want to get into as I know from experience that it is a circular argument. Some people like them, some don't. It's no big deal.

You say:
"There is such a culture of consumerism that is prevalent within mentalism these days that it's often overlooked that you really need very little to perform some serious mind fucking stuff"

So true...but take a look at what you recomend. If I'm going to buy all your must have gimmicks, how much will I spend? How much is Nelson's ultra clipboard (another flavour of the month)? 150$ or something like that? a Peek Wallet? More than 50$ most of them.
Tell me, how many different clipboards do you need? how many different ways of duplicating a drawing do you need? how many different ways of getting a word do you need?

"It seems that we are always being sold the next 'must have' imp device, wallet, peek device or manuscript"

You preach about the consumerism and how newbies "think little about whether they really need something", and then you fall on the exact same trap. You recomend sharpies, new clipboards, wallets...

I actually said you need a swami or nailwriter. Few can argue that this not a compulsory tool for a mentalist. I happen to think that the Super Sharpie is a nice tool and one I use but yes, it is expensive and it will suck if I lost it. You don't have to buy one but if you were looking to invest in one, that would be a good purchase. For years I made my own bandwriter using China Marker and a cut up Thumbtip. It works lovely and I still carry one with me.

The wallets are fantastic utilities and I happen to think an SUC is nearly as compulsory a tool as a NW. A Himber is great but you can live without one and use envelopes for 'outs' if you need to. If you had the choice of one, an SUC is the way to go. My choice of tools however also takes into account longevity. Once you get these bits of kit, they are all you will ever conceivably need and are versatile enough to grow and adapt with you.

I ask you the same question you asked on the article: "Sure, some of these things are nice, but what do they really accomplish that you couldn't do with exisiting methods?"
What does a peek wallet that you can't do with a simple sleight? If you buy Peek Encores for $75 or even Acidus Novus for $15, or a CT with $25, don't you achieve the same thing that with: a 150$ clipboard, two $50 wallets?
Think about what the 150$ clipboard actually does...YOU GET A WORD! How many different ways do you know to get a word or a drawing?

Absolutely right, but an SUC is however more than a peek device and it's always nice to have more than one method at your disposal. If you were only using an SUC for a peek, then forget about buying one. You could substitute an SUC with a window envelope but would you want to? Instead of using a wallet to peek , you can use Acidus or Zen Billet Peek but it's all about having the choice. A peek wallet is like a calculator. Why do you use a calculator if you know how to add or subtract? Clipboard aside, my entire recommended kit including books can be had for around £120, maybe less, if you buy smart. That's a mighty small price for pretty much everything you need to get into mentalism. You may never need to buy another gimmick or tool ever.

I'll finish this with one final piece of advice: instead of spending hundreds of dollars in books/manuscripts/gimmicks, STOP buying things right now; you already have enough. Spend that money in travelling during a weekend, go away, meet new people, show your miracles to them. Spend money in YOUR life, enrol in activities NOT related to mentalism and magic, this is how you get your personality, not by reading mentalism books; this is how you get the charisma that you talked about.
Regardless of how much you perform and practice your mentalism, if you don't have a personality, charisma you'll just be another weak-ass mentalist looking like a used car salesman like the ones on Desert Brainstorm tapes.

Great advice and something I wholeheartedly endorse and advice that Yaniv Deautsch should probably take on board!

Just something to think about,

O"

There you have it, I'm not such a ogre am I? I'm here to promote debate and I don't profess to offer the definitive view on any subject so if like Mr O you have a decent point to make, send 'em to the usual address and I'll post 'em.

Gunn's beginner's guide to mentalism

Welcome Gunnsters to my first non abuse based bullshit free 'educational' pieces. I've had many people write to me and say, 'Tommy, you seem like a knowledgeable kind of guy, why all the abuse? What about giving us some advice and doing something constructive?'. Call it an attack of conscience but I've dug deep and decided to distill my take on beginner's mentalism. I might not be right but then again judging from some of the brainless posts on the Cafe, I'm not entirely wrong when I say that there is so much conflicting crap when it comes to advice for newbies I decided to cut through it all and see if I can make life a lot simpler and save you motherfuckers a few bucks in the process.

When beginning mentalism you have to first decide if mentalism is for you. What are you trying to get out of it? Do you want to impress the girlies or do you want to control people like a Jedi master? Let me get one thing clear. Mentalism can do the former, it can't do the latter despite what Derren Brown appears to do. You cannot control people in any reliable way but you might just be able to give the impression you can. If you want to perform or make people believe you have special gifts, great, you are getting there. However, the first goal of mentalism is to entertain and emotionally touch people in a way that they will remember. Being a mentalist you have to be convincing. If you look like a snotty nosed precocious kid or look like Yaniv Deautsch, forget it. You need to have a polished, erudite and charismatic persona. Being articulate and educated helps as does a decent outfit and polished shoes but whatever you do, you have to have the conviction to believe in yourself and your abilities else no-one else will. Sadly, a great many mentalists haven't got this special X factor. Derren Brown, Max Maven, Banachek, Berglas, McCambridge...these guys all have it. You can believe they can fuck with your head. Larry Becker, Kenton Knepper, Luke Jermay, Lee Earle, Chris Caldwell, these guys don't. Learn from the best, but don't ape them. Be inspired by them.

Books/Videos
A lot of people cite Annemann or Corinda as compulsory reading for any new mentalist. This is utter bullshit. This is equivalent to saying I have to read Newton's Principia to understand physics. Whilst I'm not saying you should avoid these texts, there are much better texts that cover the same basic ground but have a much more contemporary, relevant slant. Annemann and Corinda are outdated, outmoded and are more of use as a historical reference than a real world guide to modern mentalism. Annemann and Corinda are great texts and when they were written they represented the best thinking in the business, sadly a lot of the methods are over exposed and do not relate well to contemporary audiences. These days the books are more of use to an experienced mentalist looking for inspiration and who has the talent to remodel an old effect or principle into something completely new.

A starter library for mentalists should encompass the following areas:

1. Basic Principles
2. Suggestion
3. Cold Reading
4. Psychotelekinesis (PK)
5. Effects

Basic Principles - The best book for learning the basics of mentalism is undoubtedly Bob Cassidy's Fundamentals. This book is entertainingly written, comprehensive and up to date. In my view, it is a Corinda for the noughties. This is top notch material from Dr Bob's golden age of writing way back when he was relatively sober. You won't get shit like the Messing Effect here. This is over 90 pages of exceptional advice and effects. Almost everything is covered from the psychology of mentalism to performance advice to gimmicks. One almost priceless addition is an appendix reviewing the merits of different books, videos and authors (39 Steps). If you can't learn anything from this then you must be a fucking cretin as it is the single best beginner's mentalism book in existence and the best $30 you'll ever spend. Get one from Dr Bob at his site here.

Suggestion - Forget Kenton, forget Jermay. These guys couldn't suggest a driveby shooting to a gangsta. The real work on suggestion is found within the pages of Ormond McGill's New Encyclopaedia of Stage Hypnosis. All suggestion, be it waking or in trance, has its basic roots in hypnosis. This book is the most comprehensive account of hypnotic effects and methods anywhere. My advice has always been to learn from the best and who better than McGill? 600 pages of no nonsense knowledge for a few dollars more than Building Blocks. You figure it out.

Cold Reading - Learning to cold read is mandatory for any mentalist and despite what that fool Kenton would have you believe, there are no shortcuts. The best book for learning cold reading is Ian Rowland's Full Facts Book of Cold Reading. If you only bought one book on cold reading this is it. Comprehensively covers all the ground you need plus it is stylishly written and even contains a great chapter called 'Psychic Baiting'. Indispensable stuff.

Psychotelekinesis - The ability to affect the world around you using the power of the mind is always a nice ability to display. Bending flatware, nails, keys and other objects using the mind is not something that can be learnt from books due to visual elements of the techniques. For these skills Banachek is peerless. Either PK Silverware or the metal bending DVD from his Psi Series will teach you all you need to know. Classy stuff from a classy performer. 'nuff said.

Effects - All mentalists need at least one book or collection of effects to inspire creativity and see how the principles of mentalism are applied. My choice is Barrie Richardson's Theatre of the Mind. However you could use TA Water's Mind, Myth and Magick, Annemann's Jinx (at a stretch), Becker's Stunners Plus or The New Invocation.

Gimmicks and Utilities

Here's my collection of must have gimmicks and utilities (I carry these on me at all times as part of my everyday pocket kit):

1. Peek Wallet - I recommend the Sight Unseen Case by Mark Strivings. Not only a peek wallet but can be used for billet loading, pocket writing and billet switching. A superior utility and a must have. Peter Nardi's Stealth Wallet is also a decent peek device but nowhere near as versatile as the SUC so is worth a look.
2. Himber Wallet - Used for switching and multiple outs amongst other things.
3. Nailwriter or swami gimmick - My recommendation is the Super Sharpie but any that you feel comfortable using.
4. Yigal Mesika's Loops - Having one of these on your person opens a whole world of PK effects including Lior's Invisible Touch.
5. Marked Deck of Bikes - I recommend Boris Wild but you can use Ted Lesley's Working Performer's Marked Deck. By arranging them in Osterlind's Breakthrough Card System you build in a safety net and you could shuffle the deck yet still perform the same sort of effects. If you have a problem with playing cards, you could use marked ESP cards or even the new Symbology ESP deck by Sean Carpenter
6. A decent real time impression device - Riggs's Brown Hornet or Nelson's Ultra Perfect Clipboard is fantastic. [An imp device is strictly optional and is really only needed if you are doing a formal show]

So there you have it. A bullshit free beginners tool kit for mentalism. Armed with the above knowledge and the utilities you should be ready to perform some serious shit at the drop of a hat. There is such a culture of consumerism that is prevalent within mentalism these days that it's often overlooked that you really need very little to perform some serious mind fucking stuff. It seems that we are always being sold the next 'must have' imp device, wallet, peek device or manuscript. Most newbies seem to be caught up in this spirit of acquistion and think little about whether they really need something. Trust me, they don't. Most of these gimmicks are just that. Stupid gimmicks that will end up languishing at the bottom of a drawer. You don't need Xpert, Thought Transmitter, Eye to Eye or whatever is currently flavor of the month. Sure, some of these things are nice, but what do they really accomplish that you couldn't do with exisiting methods? With that in mind, take my little lesson and apply it and see where it takes you.

Brooks brown-noses Brown

I was flicking through the Cafe a few days back and I noticed that somehow, Brooks has managed to wangle Derren Brown to be the Guest of Honour for September. Judging from the reactions, some of the Cafe dwellers have cum in their pants already. This is interesting for a number of reasons.

First of all, there has to be some kind of catch. I know Derren and his crew and if there is one thing I have learnt is that Derren doesn't do anything without a fucking good reason. I don't know exactly how the Guest of Honour system at the Cafe works (perhaps someone would enlighten me?) but I would imagine that Derren must be plugging something or doing a PR job to set up something that he is doing in the near future.

Second thing, I really doubt that Derren has the time to spend in front of a computer for a couple of days answering banal questions from a bunch of fawning half wits all trying to either suck his cock or trying to learn his secrets. It's highly probable that it would probably be someone else like Andrew O' Connor, David Britland, Andy Nyman or Michael Vine. I could be wrong but I know how these guys operate and the chances of getting Derren on the Cafe for real is slim.

Third thing, it's going to be really funny seeing some of the questions that will be posed and the posts that will be generated. Kennedy will be beside himself and his hands will be too shaky to type so look out for atrocious spelling from him. Stephen Long will be trying to play it really, really cool, like it's no big deal...hell, don't you know that him and Derren are tight? Shrink will no doubt be trying to make out that he is equal with Derren and might even try and throw in some kind of smartarse NLP based curveball just to try and outsmart Derren and make himself look good. Yaniv Deautsch as Svengali, BabyMagician, Leecard, Din, Neal Roter etc, etc will be guaranteed to pose some kind of question based on a very, very obscure effect or reference that he hopes will catch Derren out. If he does, I'll muller the bastard. I have his IP so maybe I'll post it and hope a friendly hacker will steal his pirated library for the good of mentalism.

The facts are that this is a massive PR stunt. Derren or whoever is 'playing' Derren will get bombarded with brownnosing messages plus a few 'how did you do the dogtrack stunt?' questions. Derren will not answer questions about method on a public forum and if he does it will probably be designed to completely mislead.

Other news this week: That dipshit Dr Zodiac has finally surpassed the 1500 post mark. (Applause). It's now official, Zodiac is a sad bastard who needs a life. Welcome to Shrinkland.

Chris Caldwell has joined the Cafe! Woo hoo! The half from the Arizona six and a half has finally decided to grace the most banal magic site on the Net with his cheesiness, erm, sorry, I meant, cheeriness. Someone wrote me this week commenting on my dead on assessment of Caldwell having all the persona of a slimy insurance salesman. Very true. This person also mentioned that Caldwell might be big in Utah. Given that his disposition and persona possess all the charisma of a toenail clipping I would agree. All he needs on his cheap suit is a black badge with the words 'Elder Caldwell' printed on it.

The final bit of news is that this site was linked to in the Cafe thread 'Kenton' a few days ago. It survived a couple of hours before that bearded Nazi Scribner pulled it for breaching Cafe flaming and profanity rules. Fuck 'em. I got a few hundred hits out of it so I'm not too bothered. Yet again, the right to free speech takes a drubbing at the hands of Adolf Brooks and his band of stormtroopers. Heil Brooks! Mein Fuhrer! Before the thread was deleted there was a particularly spicy message from Shrink that you all gotta see:

"I don't mind. Let the link be. I'm really suprised why anyone would give any weight to his views. His knowledge of mentalism is obviously flawed, so why would anyone else take him seriously. It's a desperate cry for attention. The more attention he gets the more people realise what a sad figure he really is. He is also a coward."

Shrink, why is my knowledge of mentalism obviously flawed? Examples please. And shall we see if I'm a coward? Email me, let's sort out a place to meet, maybe a service station on the M1, and we can sort it out man to man. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. This is a serious offer. Hell, bring along Bartlewizard. I'm going to look forward to bitch slapping the both of you.

In the past two weeks it seems that Shrink and Yaniv Deautsch have done more to drive traffic to my site than anything I could have done. To them I say thanks! As long as there are cocksuckers like you around, the Gunnsight will never be short of easy targets to ridicule.

Stupidity is king - Results for the Golden Dildo of Mentalism Award

I've been monitoring the results of the Golden Dildo of Mentalism award with great interest this past week and I have the following results as of today:

1st Place - Mattisdx with 29% of the vote
2nd Place - Everybody's favourite online numbnut, Yaniv Deautsch with 20% of the vote
3rd Place - Shrink with 18% of the vote
4th Place - Bartlewizard with 14% of the vote
5th Place - Bambaladam with 8% of the vote
6th Place - Bonzo the Clown with 4% of the vote
7th Place - Kennedy with 3% of the vote
8th Place - G. Batson with 2% of the vote
9th Place - Hypnotic Winter with 1%

Svengali did not place as I have subsequently learned that he is another of Yaniv Deautsch's many aliases. Can't someone email Scribner and get that annoying cunt banned?

When the poll started Shrink immediately shot ahead but as the week progressed Mattisdx, Deautsch and Bartlewizard all started gaining ground with Mattisdx inching ahead mid week and
pulled away. What does this tell us? I have grossly underestimated the impact of good old fashioned numbskullery. It would appear that for all my propaganda against both Deautsch and Shrink stupidity really does annoy more than an ugly face (Deautsch) or a gigantic ego (Shrink). So congratulations to the village idiot that is Mattisdx who is a glowing testament to why family members should not interbreed.

I'm going to keep the poll open for a while until I put together a new poll. Nominations should be sent here, the top 10 nominations get put up for voting.

Gunn on piracy

If there was ever a more emotive subject in mentalism it's piracy. Let me first state my own personal opinion on it: it's wrong but it's not necessarily the evil that some will have you believe.

Let me elaborate on this. I'm a controversial kind of guy but I never rock the boat for the sake of it so if the following opinions offend you, tough shit, it's gotta be said. Piracy is rife in mentalism. The pro's engage in technical 'bootlegging' if you like and I would say that 90% of amateurs engage in it in some form or other. There are degrees of piracy too, on one extreme you've got the scumbags who photocopy lecture notes or copy videos and DVD's then sell them on Ebay and then you have the ones who lend each other items from their own personal library and take copies therefore exponentially growing their libraries. On top of that is the burgeoning second hand market where people sell original manuscripts yet retain copies for themselves. Then there is the mentor/student relationships where more experienced mentalists teach lesser experienced mentalists effects from their own repertoire that they have gleaned from books.

The point is that there are seldom black and white instances of piracy despite what some would have you believe. The self appointed ethics police will have you believe that piracy stifles creativity. That is total bullshit. In fact, quite the opposite, I think that piracy fuels creativity. Think about it, if you were to pay for every effect you buy or every decent piece of theory that is published you would be spending a lot of money. Mentalism ain't cheap. Following on from that logic it would mean that simple economic wealth dictates who gets access to the best books and effects. What if a young mentalist is full of talent and ideas yet bereft of fiscal clout? Mentalism looses a massive potential source of creativity because the person can't afford the manuscripts. If the whole creativity argument is followed through to its conclusion surely in order to fuel creativity you need to distribute the best material to the largest possible number of mentalists? 'Piracy' does that and it has a more beneficial effect than destructive in my opinion. In fact it's going on right now. I know for a fact that piracy is rife. The number of pro's I know who will willingly share copies, scans and e-books is staggering. It would appear that there is one rule for the elite inner circle, where piracy is accepted as a matter of course, and another rule for the hoi polloi. That's fine. What it basically means is, pay your dues, buy legit manuscripts, learn, develop and create, then once you have reached a level where you are regarded as an equal, you will reap the benefits by never paying for a manuscript ever again. What fucks me off royally is the hypocrisy of it all. If this is the way it is, tell everyone that this is the way it is. Don't crucify someone coz they photocopied a manuscript before selling it on.

The other reason why I think piracy is rife is because there is so much shit out there. In the good old days before the Internet it seemed that only the brightest, best thinkers got to publish. By publishing a decently bound book you had to be pretty damn good to justify the outlay from the publisher so manuscripts where generally of a high standard. Since computers, it seems that every cretin with an idea can spit out an e-book. This means that there is a lot of turds out there. TWID, Post-Justify, Black 7 etc...they range from good through so-so to dire. The quality is not consistent anymore. I think the last decent book I read was Theatre of the Mind by Richardson. When faced with this kind of shit and the advertising that goes with it, you can be excused for wanting to read a book first then deciding if you should pay for it. Now there's an idea: shareware mentalism! If you like it, pay for it, if you don't, don't. If I was an author, I wouldn't be adverse to this kind of arrangement if I knew my book was good enough. I think human beings are basically decent so any money I would lose would be as much as from piracy anyway.

The other thing that really pisses me off is what constitutes piracy is so fucking vague. If I lent a book to a friend in return for one of his, am I a pirate? I mean, I would have got the benefit of the other book I never paid for, right? Believe it or not, some wankers would have us believe that we would be pirates. Fuck that shit! The pursuit of knowledge is not policeable by anyone. If I wanted to learn something badly enough, money or lack or it will certainly not stand in my way. There are a hell of a lot of mentalists out there who will be quick to condemn whenever there is a piracy debate but are they really agreeing just to appear to be ethical but inside they are hiding their own little piracy secrets? Before commercial magic and mentalism sharing of magic secrets was done between practitioners of the art with little regard for the fiscal nature of the secrets they were trading. Piracy has only come about because magic secrets are now sold and have a monetary value attached to them and as such falls under the aegis of the law. My view is that this sharing is still done but it is the law that has made it illegal but in my view there is nothing unethical about lending or swapping books and manuscripts. If you do, don't be ashamed about it because you are doing nothing wrong despite what the ethics police tell you. Fuck 'em I say.